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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153193">nothing to hide.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisspyfangirl/pseuds/crisspyfangirl'>crisspyfangirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Never Have I Ever (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ben is shy, F/M, One Shot, ben is a bean that deserves love, he doesn't want to date devi in secret, he doesn't want to tell anyone how he feels, public speech, rain kiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:42:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisspyfangirl/pseuds/crisspyfangirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was Devi’s idea to start dating in secret. </p>
<p>Ben just went along with her idea, thinking that he’d be okay with it. </p>
<p>It didn’t take him a long time to realize that he wasn’t. Keeping her a secret was more than what he could handle. </p>
<p>So, here’s five times Ben didn’t say how he really felt about their arrangement. </p>
<p>And the one time he finally did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>209</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nothing to hide.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had already been one week since Devi decided that she and Ben were to date in secret. Which meant it had also been one week since Ben said he was okay with it.</p>
<p>You didn’t have to be the smartest person alive to notice that he wasn’t.</p>
<p>Ben was used to liking things in secret. Hell, his mother didn’t know what he was a “fan of these days”, even if he spent most of his time on his Rick &amp; Morty Reddit account. Not talking about things that made him happy wasn’t new. He chose to do that every day. What he wasn’t used to was <em>having </em>to keep it to himself. It just ended up happening with the one person he couldn’t stop thinking about and the only thing he had ever <em>wanted </em>to talk about.</p>
<p>His interest in Devi had started only one month ago when he stayed over for dinner at her house. It was the first time in his whole life that he saw Devi out of the “protection” facade she puts on at school. It added something more to her, something he didn’t know they had in common: just wanting to fit in.</p>
<p>That small feeling was enough for Ben to try and kiss her <em>twice</em> at his birthday party.  He let her move in with him to distract her from how awkward that must’ve been. And, when she kissed him in Malibu, well… Of course, it was amazing. Ben wasn’t gonna pretend that the sole memory of it didn’t make him smile automatically.</p>
<p>So now, he and Devi were a thing. But for everyone else in the locker room Ben was standing in, he was just a lonely fool smiling to himself for absolutely no reason.</p>
<p>He was brought out of his thoughts when one of his classmates’ phone started ringing. Ben turned around, shut his locker, and bent down to tie his shoes.</p>
<p>“Hi, beautiful.” His classmate said as he picked up the call. “Yeah, of course I’m free tonight.”</p>
<p>One of his friends nudged the guy’s shoulder. He whispered. “Dude, is it finally happening?”</p>
<p>As an answer, the guy slapped his friend’s hand and walked away. The group of prepubescent teenage boys started cheering.</p>
<p>“It’s getting down for Marcus tonight!”</p>
<p>Ben rolled his eyes and slowly got up. All eyes turned to him. He looked around, confused.</p>
<p>“Anything going down for you, Gross?” One of them asked.</p>
<p>Ben smiled. “Well…”</p>
<p>He remembered the smile Devi had on her face when she suggested to keep their relationship a secret. Ben wasn’t an expert on relationships, but he knew that the smile she gave him had to be more important than proving himself to a bunch of random guys in his PE class. </p>
<p>Even if, right that second, it didn’t feel that way.</p>
<p>Ben’s smile disappeared as fast as it had started. He sighed. “No, nothing’s going down for me.”</p>
<p>One of the guys snorted. He gave them a confident smile and walked away, hoping they didn’t realize how fake that one was.</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, Ben walked into his history class and sat down at his spot. When he turned to Devi, she raised her head and sent him a smile.</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to be done with today’s test,” she said, “I’m tired of studying for it.” </p>
<p> “Really? I haven’t studied for it since I <em>beat you</em> last night.”</p>
<p>Devi laughed. They had spent all night studying for the test at Ben’s house. Well, studying was a big word. Fighting over who knew more facts than the other was a better way to describe it. And, well, other things too. (No, not <em>that</em>. If you thought otherwise, you need Jesus.)</p>
<p>“Just admit that I was better than you.” Devi smiled from ear-to-ear. “Or that I was good, at least.”</p>
<p>“Oh, David,” Ben smirked. “My sweet, sweet, David.”</p>
<p>Devi’s cheeks turned red. Ben was <em>never</em> gonna shut up about this and she seemed to know it.</p>
<p>“I will admit with absolutely no problem that you were really good last night-”</p>
<p>Devi playfully hit Ben’s shoulder. “Shut up, dude!”</p>
<p>Ben grabbed his arm and pretended to wince in pain. That made Devi hit him again.</p>
<p>“Every time I see you two together, you’re either screaming at him or hitting him,” Trent said as he sat down at his place. “Are you good, Gross? Is Coyote Girl giving you a hard time?”</p>
<p>Ben turned to him. “Her? Giving me a hard time? Please, it doesn’t hurt. She hits like a girl.”</p>
<p>She punched him way harder at that time.</p>
<p> “Ow!”</p>
<p>Trent laughed. “That makes me think, Gross. I saw your girlfriend kiss a random-ass dude in the hallway this morning. What the fuck is up with that?”</p>
<p>Ben froze. “Who, Shira? We’re not together anymore.”</p>
<p>“You’re not? Dude, that sucks. That girl’s, like, <em>so</em> cool.”</p>
<p>Ben nodded a few times. She wasn’t that cool, but he wasn’t gonna start explaining why. Guys like Trent probably thought he was lucky to have been with someone like her in the first place. He didn’t want to ruin it.</p>
<p>“So,” Trent continued, “How’s the single life? Have people started to forget your name, yet?”</p>
<p>Ben knew that Trent probably didn’t mean to say that in a bad way. Okay, maybe he did, but that wasn’t the point. What hurt was that he didn’t know what to say to defend himself. Or that he couldn’t say what would actually help.</p>
<p>Devi turned to Trent. Ben’s eyes widened with joy. Was it finally happening? Was she finally gonna say-</p>
<p>“Please, Trent. Ben’s used to it.” Devi laughed. “They made up the word ‘single’ especially for him.”</p>
<p>Trent started laughing. He slammed a fist on his desk and pointed at Ben with his other hand. “Dude, she got you!”</p>
<p>Ben rolled his eyes and played along, giving up any hope he had for the conversation to change directions. “Isn’t that exactly why I won our 2nd-grade spelling bee, David?”</p>
<p>Devi’s mouth dropped. “You know I had trouble with my ‘g’s back then!”</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kamala turned to Ben as she violently pulled a shopping cart towards her. “How about you, Ben? Did your test go well?”</p>
<p>Devi had invited him for dinner that night and Kamala accepted, excited that she wasn’t gonna be cooking alone.</p>
<p>“It was easy, of course.” He said. “I think Mr. Shapiro is scared of giving us actual work.”</p>
<p>Devi laughed. “I think Mr. Shapiro is just, always scared.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Kamala asked. “My professors give us so much work to do. They’re nice about it when I don’t have time to do them, though. I don’t know why.”</p>
<p>Devi rolled her eyes, which made Ben smile. He thought her passive-aggressive attitude was the cutest thing. Well, now that she wasn’t only giving it to him.</p>
<p>They all turned into the condiment aisle. They were the only ones there, except for an employee stocking up at the end of the row. When Kamala saw him, she tapped her cousin on the shoulder.</p>
<p>Devi looked up. “What?”</p>
<p>“Look at the employee,” Kamala whispered, “He’s cute! And he looks your age.”</p>
<p>Devi turned to the employee and squinted her eyes at him. She smiled. “Yeah, he is. Wow, Kamala. You have good taste!”</p>
<p>Ben examined some ketchup bottles to distract himself from the conversation that the two girls were having.</p>
<p> “What are you waiting for? Go talk to him.”</p>
<p>Ben’s head spun towards Kamala. “She shouldn’t do that!”</p>
<p>She turned to him, looking confused. Devi glared at him. He took a deep breath and blinked a few times, shrugging his new-found jealousy off.</p>
<p>“I mean,” Ben started, “She shouldn’t do that because the guy is working. He could get in trouble if she bothers him.”</p>
<p>Kamala tilted her head to the side and nodded. “Okay, that makes sense. Thank you, Ben.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Devi laughed, “thank you for your input, Ben.”</p>
<p>Ben rolled his eyes and Devi stuck her tongue out. They laughed to themselves as they made their way forward and finished shopping for tonight’s dinner.</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben wasn’t a big fan of parties. In fact, he had only hosted a party for his birthday because he wanted Devi to come. That was before anything happened between them, of course, but it didn’t change the fact that, normally, Ben just doesn’t party. There was something about the sticky beer cans, the red cups lying everywhere and the drunk people acting stupid that didn’t make his heart sing with joy. He only went to parties because he didn’t want to miss out on something crazy happening and then be left out of the gossip-conversations for the month following the party.</p>
<p>This is exactly why he was standing in Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s kitchen on a Friday night he could’ve spent with Devi at his own house where, for example, there wasn’t any throw up in the sink.</p>
<p>Devi tugged on his T-Shirt sleeve and gestured towards the stairs. The music was too loud for them to hear each other, so he grabbed her arm and made his way through the crowd. They climbed the stairs and stopped in front of a white door decorated with the name ‘Rebecca’.</p>
<p>Devi took a deep breath. “There are way too many people downstairs. I think you were right, Ben. We should’ve hung out at your place.”</p>
<p>She lowered herself and sat cross-legged on the floor. She looked down. Ben sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulder.</p>
<p>“Hey, Devi. Don’t worry, we can still hang out tomorrow instead.”</p>
<p>She slowly turned to him. “I once again just came to one of these to prove to people that I was cool or whatever. And now the cool people aren’t even talking to us.”</p>
<p>Ben smiled. “Don’t worry, we’re cooler than them. And, truthfully, you’re also smarter than every single one of the people downstairs.”</p>
<p>Devi’s lips cracked into a smile. “You’re right, Gross. I’m also smarter than you, but I know you won’t admit it.”</p>
<p>He laughed. Comforting Devi was the one thing he wanted to succeed at right now, anyway. He didn’t feel the need to add anything.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Devi added, “Thank you, by the way. You’re kind of the best.”</p>
<p>Ben gave her a soft smile. She leaned in and kissed him softly. As she was about to pull away, Ben grabbed her head and kissed her back, feeling every single part of his body heat up. Maybe it was the one beer he drank, or maybe it was the fact that he was completely and utterly falling for her. All he knew is that he wasn’t pulling away.</p>
<p>When the staircase started creaking, it’s Devi that pulled away. She took out her phone from one of her pockets and started scrolling on Instagram. Paxton appeared in front of them.</p>
<p>“That’s where you are!” He smiled, “I’ve been looking for you, Devi!”</p>
<p>Ben looked down. He didn’t have any problem with Paxton, but he knew how Devi used to feel about him.  Also, Paxton wasn’t necessarily the best at including Ben, so he always felt out of place when he was around.</p>
<p>“We’re starting a game of beer pong!” Paxton said. A little louder than that, and it would’ve been considered a scream. “Do you guys want to join?”</p>
<p>Ben didn’t know if he should be excited that Paxton was finally including him or angry that he had interrupted them.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Paxton.” Ben started, “we’re kind of busy.”</p>
<p>Paxton looked around. “You are?”</p>
<p>Devi laughed as she got up. “We were talking about Model UN, it’s not a big deal. It can wait.”</p>
<p>To those words, Ben’s heart sank in his chest. It would be so easy to open his mouth and tell Paxton what they were really doing.</p>
<p>Devi turned to him. “You’re coming?”</p>
<p>He gave her a reassuring smile. “I think I drank enough. You can go without me.”</p>
<p>Paxton and Devi walked down the stairs. Ben closed his eyes and slammed his head on the wall. How had he gotten himself into this mess?</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you tell me why Ben is eating lunch with us now?”</p>
<p>Devi turned to Eleanor. They were sitting on a table outside and Ben had been talking about his French homework for the past half hour.</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t want him to eat alone. I’m a nice person.”</p>
<p>“So,” Fabiola raised an eyebrow, “do you guys still hate each other?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Devi turned to Ben and started laughing. “Dude, you were supposed to say yes.”</p>
<p>He looked around. “Really? I didn’t know.”</p>
<p>Devi looked at Fabiola. “I’m working on being nice more. You know, Ben doesn’t really have any friends. We have to help him out a little bit.”</p>
<p>Ben looked away. Devi had been best friends with Fabiola and Eleanor for ages and she still didn’t tell them about their relationship. Agreement or not, that one really hurt his feelings.</p>
<p>He drastically got up. “I’m gonna get something to drink.”</p>
<p>Ben walked over to the cafeteria. Each one of his steps was fueled with anger. When he got there, a hand touched his shoulder. He turned around.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Devi asked. “You know I’m joking, right?”</p>
<p>Ben looked into her eyes. Devi actually looked worried. This was the perfect moment to tell her about how he felt.</p>
<p>The only problem was that he didn’t want to create any problems between them, and he still didn’t know how to bring up the subject.</p>
<p>“Of course I know you’re joking.” He let out. “I was just thirsty.”</p>
<p>Devi looked unsure, but she still smiled at him. She stayed by his side as he picked out a drink. They walked back to the table and sat down at the same time.</p>
<p>“So, Ben…” Eleanor said, “Ever talk about something else than school?”</p>
<p>He laughed and took a sip of his drink. <em>Don’t worry, Eleanor</em>, he thought to himself, <em>if I could talk about something else, I would. </em></p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next week, Ben walked into his history class with the same frown on his face as the rest of his class. Out of all the days they could’ve had a field day, it had to fall on one of the rare times that it actually rained in Los Angeles. The worst part of it was that Mr. Shapiro insisted on not rescheduling.</p>
<p>When Ben sat down at his place, Mr. Shapiro made his way into the class. He was wearing a raincoat and a pair of sunglasses. As always, he looked like an absolute fool.</p>
<p>“My young, beautiful minds,” Mr. Shapiro smiled, “Are we ready for our adventure?”</p>
<p>Nobody answered.</p>
<p>“Let’s go, then.”</p>
<p>Everyone got up and followed the teacher out of the door. In the hallway, Devi made her way next to Ben. Fabiola and Eleanor followed behind.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe we’re taking a walk in this weather,” Devi said. “My sweater is gonna be drenched in two minutes.”</p>
<p>“And my hair’s gonna look crazy!” Fabiola whined. “Do you know how hard it is to take care of it?”</p>
<p>Eleanor clapped her hands together. “I’m excited! I’ll be able to add to my acting resume that I have experience with rain machines.”</p>
<p>Ben frowned. “I don’t think that’s how resumes work.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Ben.”</p>
<p>They stepped outside and felt the harsh rain hit their skin. The whole class let out a collective whine.</p>
<p>“I take it back,” Eleanor said, “I’m not excited anymore.”</p>
<p>They walked in silence for a few seconds as they all got used to the uncomfortable feeling. When Ben looked up, Trent and Paxton were making their way towards them. He rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“We’re all gonna get sick after this,” Paxton said. “Do you think they’ll let us miss school on Mr. Shapiro’s account?”</p>
<p>“I heard that, Paxton.” Mr. Shapiro called from the front of the pack.</p>
<p>“Good!”</p>
<p>Devi laughed.</p>
<p>“I bet Gross would rather go to school sick than to not go at all.” Trent randomly said.</p>
<p>Ben didn’t lookup. What was the point, anyway?</p>
<p>“I mean, am I wrong? Our boy here doesn’t have a girlfriend, he doesn’t have friends. What else is he gonna do?”</p>
<p>Ben finally looked up. He was thankful that the rain falling on his face could hide the tears forming in his eyes. It was tiring having to deal with Trent’s bullshit all the time. Especially because he didn’t even realize how much it actually hurt. Trent was too stupid to craft an insult based on someone’s actual insecurities. He had just guessed his right.</p>
<p>“Cut it off, Trent.” Devi snapped back. “I know you’re trying to be funny, but that’s just mean.”</p>
<p>Trent laughed. “You’re gonna tell me that he actually has something going on for him?”</p>
<p>At those words, Ben froze and stopped walking. When Devi and her friends noticed, they all stopped too. The whole class came to a halt.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright?” Mr. Shapiro asked. “Is someone hurt?”</p>
<p>Ben turned to Trent. “I do actually have something going on for me. In case you didn’t know, I have the best grades our school has ever seen and I’m gonna be admitted into an Ivy. That’s already something.”</p>
<p>After saying that, Ben felt a flame spark in his chest. He had to let it out. It wasn’t gonna stay inside of him for another second.</p>
<p>“And for the record, I do have a girlfriend. And I think she’s amazing. She brings out the best in me and makes me feel alive for the first time in a very, very long time.”</p>
<p>A few people in the class gasped. Devi’s mouth dropped open.</p>
<p>Ben took a deep breath. “You know what, Trent? It’s not because you don’t see it happening that it isn’t. At the end of the day, whether you know it or not, I have her and that’s all that-”</p>
<p>Devi walked up to him, put her hands on his shoulders, and kissed him in front of everyone. The class erupted in cheers. Ben grabbed a fist of her wet hair and pulled Devi closer to him, forgetting about his surroundings. He didn’t have time to think about the rain, or about their class, or about what people were gonna say about them.</p>
<p> Like he had told Trent, all that mattered was that Devi was there.</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the weeks following the moment they shared in the rain, the news traveled fast. Their classmates couldn’t believe that the two past nemeses had ended up falling for each other.</p>
<p>Ben didn’t give much thought to what people were saying, though. For once, he didn’t care about the attention he was getting.  All Ben could think about was how happy he was that they finally had nothing to hide.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahhhh!! </p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a kudos or a comment if you did! They make my day :')</p>
<p>Follow me on Twitter: @crisspyfangirl (main acc) or @crisspybenvi (Never Have I Ever acc)</p>
<p>Thank you for reading! <br/>xxx<br/>crisspyfangirl</p></blockquote></div></div>
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